Idiots
by RattyCatty
Summary: Short, stupid thing inspired by an otpprompts prompt. Emma tries the coffee/energy drink thing, and Regina despairs. Just a bit of fun. Already-established Swan Queen. T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**Just some stupidity inspired by a prompt from the otpprompts Tumblr. I don't have the brainpower right now to think up a good reason for why there's a town meeting or why it's at Snow's place, so please forgive me and use your imagination if it bothers you too much. Enjoy.  
><strong>

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Once Upon A Time, and the idea comes from the otpprompts Tumblr blog.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Imagine Person A of your OTP sitting next to Person B in an early morning college class, pouring an energy drink into their coffee, telling Person B they're going to die, and then promptly chugging the entire thing. Bonus: Person C is sitting on the other side of Person B and mimics Person A. Person B wonders why they're surrounded by idiots.<strong>_

* * *

><p>Another villain, another strange happening, another dull town meeting in an attempt to sort it all out; Storybrooke was a bitch. Could they not have a moment of peace, some time to enjoy the fact that their lives weren't being threatened by some greater evil?<p>

Of course not.

Emma sighed. It was _way _too early for this shit – as in, "four in the morning" too early.

Some big bad had come to town and stirred things up somewhere, and so an 'emergency' – no one had died or been seriously injured so the sheriff didn't see why it couldn't wait until morning – meeting had been called.

So here she was, leaning against the pearly white kitchen island beside her dark-haired lover, Regina, listening to her mother fill everyone in on what had gone down. The small apartment was cramped as the idealistic Snow had attempted to fit any and every one with an ounce of power or an idea of what had happened into the space.

To be quite honest, Emma wasn't even sure why they were holding the meeting at her parents' apartment when Regina was Mayor once again, and therefore had her sizable office available. Alas, here they were.

At least there were refreshments.

"Thankfully, no one was hurt, but we must discuss what our next action will be. That's why…"

Emma stifled a weary yawn, and began to tune out her mother's talking, and instead let her mind wander.

Feeling her eyes once again begin to slide shut, the blonde hastily poured herself another cup of hot coffee. She'd only taken one sip before an idea came to her.

As quietly as she could so as not to disturb the others who listened to Mary-Margaret's babbling, Emma moved to the fridge and grabbed an energy drink for herself, and another for her teenage son, who'd taken to guzzling down at least two a day. Emma knew Regina hated his new habit, but for some reason – perhaps guilt due to depriving him of small pleasures such as unhealthy food and drink for most of his childhood, or fear of losing her son to his biological mother once again – she allowed it.

Placing the can in front of the boy, Emma took up her place at the counter again and cracked her own drink open. Beside her, Regina shot her a disapproving look. Emma only gave her a small smile before lifting the can and pouring the odd coloured liquid into her hot coffee. "I'm going to die," she whispered, watching the sugary waterfall of her energy drink.

Regina looked on in quiet disbelief, perfect brows raised and painted lips parted in a worried 'o'; her blonde lover had reached a new low.

With abandon, the saviour picked up her now full-to-the-brim mug and tipped back the whole thing, gulping it down quickly.

Just as the brunette was convinced this couldn't get worse, she heard the unmistakable sound of a second can being opened, and the _glug glug _of pouring. Peering to her left, she saw her son mimicking his other mother. He too, fearlessly chugged the life-shortening concoction.

Regina opened her mouth as if to say something, but then shut it again and dropped her head into her hands. _Idiots. Both of them._


	2. Chapter 2

**Someone on AO3 suggested a sequel where Emma and Henry don't fall asleep for 48 hours and so here this thing is. Enjoy!**

**T for some swearing and mild suggestive content. **

* * *

><p>Henry stood in the centre of the well-decorated living room, practically vibrating with energy as he battled Emma at some violent video game.<p>

Forty eight hours, it had been – _forty eight fucking hours _since Regina's two idiots had decided to mix Red Bull and coffee together at that sleep-inducing town meeting. In that time, neither had had a minute of rest, and so neither had Regina. It was safe to say that two days sans sleep was wearing on the brunette, and she was just thankful that she no longer had to juggle a proper job on top of looking after her son and immature lover.

Regina got up from her chair in the corner, where she was attempting to read a book but being unable to focus on the words. "Alright, you two. Bed time," she told them in the best authoritative voice she could muster in her exhausted state.

All she got in return was a whined, "_Mo-om!_" from her son and an equally petulant, "_Regi-ina!"_ from the sheriff. Regina shook her head. _Children._

"Yes, no arguments," she said strictly, glaring at Emma from across the room as if to say, "You're supposed to set an example."

Emma relented with a lowered head and turned to their son with an apologetic expression. "Sorry, kid. Better do what your mom says."

Henry looked at his mothers for a minute and then sighed and nodded, turning the games console off, hugging his mothers goodnight, and heading upstairs.

When their son was gone, Regina glowered at Emma. "I blame you for this."

The saviour hung her head and peeked up at her pissed off partner with wide eyes. "Sorry."

"Puppy dog eyes aren't going to work this time," Regina growled. "I'm going to bed. I suggest you try and do the same."

With that, she climbed the spiral staircase and went to her room to get ready for bed.

Emma gave the abandoned games console a last look before following.

* * *

><p>"Emma, for the love of God, <em>please <em>shut up and go to sleep," the brunette groaned, pushing her face deeper into her pillow in an attempt to drown out her lover's babbling. It was for this exact reason the blonde has been banished from their bed the night before, and Regina honestly wasn't sure why she'd allowed her to come back tonight.

Emma paused, as if she was only just realising she was talking absolute rubbish at gone 4am whilst she was highly caffeinated and her girlfriend was exhausted and trying to sleep. "Sorry," she whispered gently. She ached to curl around the brunette until she fell into a much-needed sleep, but she wasn't sure that the gesture would be appreciated or that she herself could even stay still for that long, so she stayed put on her side of the bed.

Regina softened slightly at the sheriff's sorrow, but didn't give in. Instead, she took advantage of the quiet, clearing her mind.

When Regina was just about asleep, the blonde piped up again, "Hey, why is memory loss such a big issue here? In Storybrooke, I mean. Every time something happens, people _conveniently_ lose their memories and it makes it so much harder to figure out what went on. We should, like, I dunno – isn't there a protection spell or something for that?"

"You'll lose a lot more than your memory if you keep on, Miss Swan," Regina growled harshly, sitting up and glaring at the blonde who lay on her back.

Emma pushed herself up to mirror her lover's position, and Regina thought she saw something hungry flash in her eyes, thought it was dark so she could have been mistaken – she _hoped _she was mistaken.

She wasn't.

"Y'know, you could always try to tire me out, Regina," Emma murmured, sliding closer. A pink tongue snaked out to wet soft lips, and the burning hunger in those green eyes returned. She'd always thought Regina was hottest when she was pissed.

_Oh god. _Any other time, Regina would have absolutely no objections, but as it was, she was irritated, shattered, and in no condition to please the Saviour. "We tried that yesterday, and look how well that worked," she grunted.

"Maybe it'll work this time?" Emma suggested hopefully as her eyes roamed over the toned body of the former queen.

A moment passed, and Regina considered her options. "I'll make a deal with you," she said. When Emma cocked her head, she continued. "If you can stay quiet all night and let me get as much sleep as I require, I'll '_try to tire you out'_ all day tomorrow."

The Saviour's jaw dropped. "All day?" she breathed lustily, her mouth almost painfully dry.

Regina nodded in confirmation. "All day."

Emma shuffled back to her side of the bed and lay down again. "'Night, Regina. I love you," she softly said before clamping her mouth shut and closing her eyes.

The brunette smirked in the darkness and curled up on her side once more. "I love you too, Emma. Goodnight," she whispered before slowly slipping into blissful rest.


End file.
